Monday, November 21, 2011

The Wait

Once you find out who your kids are (get a referral), you have to wait for a court date. There is nothing that you can do to make it happen faster and the wait is a killer. I feel like it was a time for Satan's attacks. So many questions went through my mind during that time. What if we are doing the wrong thing? What if this falls through (a failed adoption is emotionally similar to a miscarriage)? What if these aren't our kids? What if we already missed our kids and we failed to find them and now it is too late? What if they have been split from their siblings? What if they became ill and even died because they had no one to care for them? Why oh why didn't we try biological? Why four? We must be insane. 

I asked everyone to pray for our kids. But then I felt guilty because sometimes a whole day would go by when I wouldn't even think about our kids. I felt even more guilty because I was thankful for those days because they were a relief from the stress and emotions.

Ripping up our carpet and installing laminate floors was a ton of work but it was the perfect project during the wait. It kept me busy and I was too tired to stress, worry, contemplate, and over think everything.

I really have no advice for someone in this stage. It just sucks. Well, I guess I do have 3 pieces of advice:

  • Pray constantly and listen carefully.
  • Find a project. Lots of projects. 
  • Exercise, eat well, and cut out most sugar. International adoption is extremely physically demanding. If you get an infant they will keep you up all night. If you get a toddler they will want to be carried everywhere. If you get 4 school age siblings they will wake up early, want to be carried, they will get sick, you will get sick, step on you, elbow you, and climb all over you. If you are seriously dependent on caffeine and/or sugar you will likely crash at the most inopportune time (like I did) as foods in other countries usually do not contain nearly as much sugar as they do in the US.
If you are in the waiting stage right now, I'm sorry. If you know someone who is waiting, just listen as there is really nothing you can say to make it better.

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