Starting with Nothing

We spent those weeks after court doing 2 things:

1. Chasing paperwork. Waiting. Waiting. And Waiting. Verbal court ruling. Written court ruling. Passports for the kids (which took 2 weeks). Visa interviews with the US Embassy (without visas our kids couldn't enter the US). Picking up visas. 

2. Figuring out what the heck we were doing as parents. 

I think the most difficult thing about becoming parents to 4 "older" children, was that we were starting from nothing. When you start with a baby, you get to make up the rules for a toddler first. You figure out what is a good bedtime and what toys are allowed to be used where and which foods they must eat vs which foods they can choose to eat. You have time to slowly figure out what responses and punishments are most effective. If you adopt an older child after having done the baby thing before, you can add the new child into your pre-formed structure. Now that doesn't mean this is easy, regardless of which way you go about things. But because we had no idea what we were doing, we were making up rules and changing the rules daily. Heck, things were changing hourly. I remember coming out from a shower or something, trading off with Josh, and asking "what new rules or anything do I need to know about?"

One day Josh told the kids after lunch that they could go outside and play or they could choose to take a rest (nap). But if they came inside, that child would then need to stay inside and take a rest. Obviously they chose to go outside. I remember telling Josh "you are a genius!" And I meant it! Thinking up something like that was huge! Josh proceeded to take the kids a tiny little snack every 1/2 hour. They would use these little bits of food to play kitchen (like playing house). They were happy. We were happy. It was awesome!