Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Feeling Squirrelly

I have been feeling squirrelly this past week. Yes, I know "squirrelly" is not a real word. Josh and I were just discussing how to spell it. To clarify he said "like you have squirrels running around in your stomach". I told him it is more like I have squirrels running around in my head, but yes. I am feeling squirrelly for our 4. I don't really know how to explain what I am feeling. It is not quite that I am anxious, although that is true. It is not quite that I am longing for them, although that is true. They have just been on my mind. There are times when I think about them often and at times not as much. Sometimes I suddenly feel overwhelmed and anxious for them. Sometimes I long to hug them and it is all that I can see in my mind because all other thoughts are overshadowed by this image. And right now I feel squirrelly for them. I often wonder if these feelings are just me and my naturally anxious mind and heart. I wonder if these feelings are connected to what is going on in their little lives. Is this the day that they are abandoned? Is this the day that a parent dies? Is someone taking advantage of the fact that they don't have anyone to protect them? When I let myself ask these questions I start to cry. I know the facts; Our children will have been hurt by the events that lead them to our arms. I have to remember that our God is watching them and that He is the master healer. And while I do know that, my mind spins and I feel squirrelly for our 4... wherever they are.


  1. Alysa, I was just thinking about you and your four the other day. =-) Have you ever been to Feeding The Orphans website? They have children listed that are in need of food assistence. There was one sibling group...of four. Ages 2, 4, 6, and 8. I immediately thought of you. Anyway, you might contact FTO to see if the children are available for adoption. Sometimes they are.

  2. Yes, I do enjoy seeing what Feeding the Orphans is doing. I knew exactly which four you were talking about (not that there are many out there to be referring to) when I read this. Those 4 are beautiful. But God has provided for them such that they can stay with their mother who loves them.


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