Saturday, November 13, 2010

Patience is just not my thing

Patience is just not my thing....

On Friday I got a call saying that me graduating this quarter is in question. Oh but the person I need to talk to is not available until Monday. SO stressful! Good news is that I am not the only one. 4 out of 10 of us are in the same boat. Its not good news for them but it is good for me in the sense that we will have to figure this out together.

Adoption paperwork is still in process. Its a hurry up and wait game. If you are trying to catch up on where we are at let me summarize:
  • Our new agency, Hopscotch, is still working on our application. So technically we are not yet a part of their program.
  • Our homestudy is being amended for Ghana (instead of Ethiopia which is how the original written).
  • Once our homestudy is done we can file our i-600 (immigration form)
  • Once our homestudy is done we can submit our dossier (forms sent to Ghana)
I'm not sure when exactly were are eligible for an official referral. It might be after the homestudy is done or it might be after the i-600 is submitted, but either way those documents all get done within a pretty short time frame. A referral means that a child or children are officially referred to you in order that you can claim them as your own. It is at that point that you get all of their information. I told you before how we fell in love with some little faces before off of the rainbowkids site. The problem was that it was way too early to go falling in love. They were not a referral. I'm not sure how you avoid this. I think adoption requires being open to the possibility of heart break, much in the same way that trying to get pregnant when it doesn't happen right away or even a miscarriage. Having children requires alot from a person, no matter how you go about getting those little ones. So the next steps, after all the initial paperwork steps, are:
  • The i-600 takes 1-2 months to get approved. Nothing can move forward until this is done.
  • Then (assuming we have a referral at that point) they start requesting court dates for us. (I think, I am a little unclear on things after the paperwork phase.)
  • Then we travel to Ghana for a first trip, meet our children-to-be, and do court stuff. (Again, I am not entirely clear on this part.)
  • Then we return to the states for about 1-2 months until court things get resolved. Or maybe it is visa things.... (Visa like for their passports, not visa like you use at the mall.)
  • Then you return to Ghana for a second trip and get to bring your babies home.
I had hoped that keeping a blog during the process would serve to help others learn more about the process and for loved ones to be able to keep up with us, but I think it is only serving to confuse people. I think at times I confuse myself. It is just not a simple straight line.

I have been reading blogs of people who have adopted from Ghana and it seems that the time lines vary quiet a bit. This appears to be due to circumstances outside of their control such as "passing court" in Ghana or getting visas for the kids from the US embassy. So I have started trying to avoid reading these parts as they only make me anxious. For a control freak like me, I think this adoption process might actually take a year or two off of my life. It's worth it though. I think if someone offered to take 5 years off my life in exchange for bringing my kids home tomorrow I would take the deal. Heck, I think I would take that deal just to know exactly who are children-to-be are.

So why on earth am I shopping when we are still at this point in the process? Well I bought school supplies in September just in case we got school age kids home during the school year. I bought 6 backpacks just to make sure I had every size and gender covered. Last week I bought a lifetime supply of body butter because one should "always be prepared". Are you seeing a trend? The problem is that because there are so many unknowns, I am inclined to try to prepare for every situation. It's a little nutty, I know. I am just so excited.

When I said in my last post that I daydream about them, I have daydreamed about them for at least 5 years now. At first I envisioned being in a Russian orphanage and meeting 2 little ones. Then I envisioned embracing 2, maybe 4, little Ethiopians. Now I envision travelling to Ghana. Now I actually envision embracing one at a time (not sure why) so even my daydream is unclear on how many. I still hope for 4...

Like I said, patience is not my thing. I think my deep desire to plan and prepare is my way of cooping.

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